What defines me?
If someone were to ask me, what is the one thing that defines who you are today, I would have to answer one thing.
That one thing is Fear.
Most people have no idea how many nights Fear sits on my shoulder and coos at me. See, I present as a confident, strong and pretty individual. I know, because people tell me those things all the time. What do I have to be afraid of, really?
Fear is my nemesis and my friend. Some days I hate Fear -- other days, Fear serves me well. But, all the same, it's fear. It's funny, I think, I don't envy the material possessions of others. What I envy are people who face changes in life with an attitude of adventure. People who are placid, emotionally. I envy them that.
I fear the unknown.
I fear financial instability.
I fear physical pain.
I fear losing my loved ones.
I fear losing my pets.
I fear losing my home.
I fear travelling.
I fear trusting someone who might harvest my vulnerabilities as ammunition.
I even fear change, yet the changes I make are done out of Fear -- fear that if I don't make a needed change, I'll always be in the same rut. Isn't that ironic?
Yet, what's even more ironic to me, is that God tells me throughout the Bible, numerous times, fear not. Intellectually, I talk myself through my fear, to the absolute worst possible ending. I strategize myself out of that ending, telling myself that my world won't end if that happens. Sometimes, I'm even okay for a few hours. But Fear is more patient than I am. Lurking in the shadows of my mind. It's also very gentle, it patiently waits and then gently, oh so gently, slips into a corner of my mind that I'm not paying attention to and starts turning out the lights in that room. Pretty soon, the entire room is dark -- filled with foreboding and anxiety.
Prayer and trusting God is the light switch that fills the dark room with glowing peace. Sometimes, I'm not quick enough in getting into that room in my mind to turn the light switch on. And Fear enjoys having the power, knowing that I'll remember. It slinks away and waits. Patiently. Quietly. Insiduously.
Fear. I hate Fear.
posted by Jammie J. @ 12:35 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
i thought i had left a comment! sheesh, getting old ...
i thought about this post ... and i hate fear too! it ties me up in knots and doesn't let me SOAR the way the Lord intended me too ...
one day fear will be thrown into a place it can never ever crawl out of ... and finally fear will KNOW fear! as for us, we'll be set FREEEEEEEEEE ....
Thanks Saija, you're right, of course. Our God is bigger than our fears. :)
I have lived a live of 32 years in fear. Not the "good" kind but the worst. I've missed out on so much and have achieved as much - but still the worst fear. Your blog is inspiring and raises the question...if it were not for fear would I be exploring faith?
BB
After reading this, it was as if someone looked into my mind. This is me--sad, but true. Fear has robbed me of a life my mind only envisions. For a short time in my life I did things the way I wanted to do them, not hurting anyone else, and I felt like a new person; I felt happy. Several years ago I turned to God and he filled me with a new joy; however, for some reason, I have fallen back into the same trap. I have never been the real me, always living my life the way others have wanted. I'm an adult but still feel like a child because I let myself be controlled by others wishes. I pray that someone day, with God's help, I can become the person my mind sees.
Why man,fear is good,without fear we can't acheive anything.Theres an old sayng that says that there is no diference between the hero and the coward,they both have the same amount of fear, its just the hero chooses not to give in to it.Youve probably heard this from Mike Tyson.But listen,I say give up.The way I see it its either you live in fear for the rest of your life,and you dont acheive anything,or you you just go for it,even if it means you loose everything.Sacrifice is the best thing that could ever happen to man.
There is no easy way to heaven except through sacrifice,without it nothing can be achieved.
Even the Lord was afraid before being crucified,but he went for it and freed us all.
Why do you wanna live without fear?fear makes life exciting,fear makes you learn about yourself.
And most importantly I believe God wants us to go and live our life,God doesn't want us to give in to the fear.God wants us to live and learn and try to get to him.
I found your article while I was tring to find something about this NLP and hypnosys crap.And all they ever say in nlp or hypnosis is that u should trick urself into removing your fear.
Dont do that,never do that,thats just an illusion.
Fear will always be there no matter what,fighters have it,actors have it.Does who have no fear when tryng something are just being ignorant,and they'r make beleive wont last long.
As I said,the road to God is hard and filled with sacrifices,mostly fear.Even the first christians before the 300 A.C,they were scared like no other,they didnt wanna die,but they died for the love of God.
So remember ,dont remove fear,just project it towards what you want.
Thank you for reading,I have a blog its called fightingpain.blogspot.com
Its about fights.
As I was reading this, I felt as if my mind and thoughts were writing as I was reading...an amazing experience. I fell onto this post for a reason...this is everything I have felt for pretty much most of my life allowing me only bits and pieces of joy here and there :( Wow......The same exact thoughts as mine...
As i read this posting and all the others, I can only cry. Everything that I fear is written out in black and white. Fear is brought on by many things in our lives, maybe from our childhood into our adulthood. I have been living in fear that someone is out to get my job...Loosing my job means loosing my house, my kids will not get the education I was not able to get. I live in fear that I will be poor again, as I was in my childhood. But then I think that there is a God and he will protect. I have to have faith in my creator. I am so tire of being afraid. There has to be a better way of living. Maybe learning to accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can, might be a place to being.
hi! my name is nicole and I know about fear. i know about finding it impossible to trust God in your own strength.
did you know perfect love casts out fear? if you allow God's perfect love to cast out the fear thats in your life and your heart then you will be free of fear.
fear is bad and it is not from God. god wants us to give and receive love. God's perfect love casts out fear! thats a promise.
i dont know if any of you have heard of joyce meyer but i learned just from hearing her teachings that she encourages people to "DO IT AFRAID" no need for fear to hold you back!
ther is a spirit of fear and it opresses many each day. and only God can free you from fear. no one else can.
You are very inspiring.
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