Listen. Patient

A couple of years ago, I was spending some time with my girlfriend, Susan. She is raising her granddaughter, who was 4 years old or so at the time.

We all hopped in Susan's truck to go somewhere one day. We had a specific meet time and we were running late. Isn't that always the way, though? Susan prompted Madison to hurry up and get in her child's seat. Madison muttered something under her breath and continued to dig in the side pocket of the truck, seeming to disregard what Susan had just said.

Instead of yelling or forcing Madison to get in her seat, she leaned and asked, "What is it that you're looking for, honey?" Calm in the midst of chaos. Madison replied that she was searching for her favorite pen. Susan leaned in and helped her look for it, ultimately shortening the delay with her patience. But also instilling a sense of respect toward Madison, because Susan was recognizing that Madison's needs were just as important as our need was to be somewhere on time.

Last Friday, I was in my back yard. It had been a hot day and at 5 o'clock in the evening, was still warm, but tapering off to a nice evening. As I inspected my tomato plants for ripening tomatos, a kid who was maybe 7 or 8 hopped up on the brick fence which parallels the wooden fence of my back yard. He didn't see me, so I waited and watched to see what he was doing.

He walked along the top of the brick fence for a bit until he was behind my next door neighbor's back yard. I heard his dad yell at him, "Get down, son! I don't want you up there." His son replied, "But, d-a-d, there's a huge spider! Look at the big spider!" He pointed up in the eucalyptus tree at a truly marvelous spider and its web that spanned nearly 20 feet. The sun sparkled through the web, causing a magical appearance like you would see in a Disney movie.

His dad, not nearly as enchanted with the spider and its magnificent creation, reiterated his command, "Get down." His son sadly complied.

As I think about those two incidences, I see so many things I can learn. To respect others needs, wait, listen, observe. If you do, you just might see something magical.

Timely God.

A couple of weeks ago, I was really struggling with a situation with my new husband. It is a situation that would be considered "odd" by any stretch of the imagination. There are, however, extenuating details that make the situation less odd, but still it sits there in the odd place.

I had a really tough time coming to grips with it. In all honestly, I still haven't, but I've been able to put it in a place where I'm okay with it. It is a temporary thing and I know it's on its way to being resolved. When I first became aware of it, I communicated my feelings to my new husband and thought I was done with it.

The next day, however, it reared up again ... several times, and I recurrently dealt with a nasty attitude toward the situation. I was able to let him know what was going on in my head so he wasn't left with the Mysteriously Grumpy New Wife, just a Grumpy New Wife.

After the weekend of recurring nasties, on Sunday night I read a devotion from Wisdom for the Way entitled "Shared Joy is Double Joy".

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. Ecc. 4:9"

There's an old Swedish motto that hangs in many a kitchen: "Shared joy is a double joy. Shared sorrow is half a sorrow." The secret of survival is not simply enjoying life's joys and enduring its sorrows, it is in sharing both with others.

We gain perspective by having somebody at our side. We gain objectivity. We gain courage in threatening situations. Having others near tempers our dogmatism and softens our intolerance. We gain another opinion. We gain what today, in our technical world, is called "input".

In other words, it is better not to work or live one's life all alone. It's better not to minister all alone. It's better to have someone alongside us in the battle. For that reason, during my days in the Marines, we were taught that if the command "dig in" were issued, we should dig a hold large enough for two."

After reading that, I was convicted. I was not coming alongside my husband. I was not trusting his judgment. I was not supporting him in the decision he had made, because it wasn't a decision I would have made. I was selfishly only considering my viewpoint. He listened to and heard my words and made some compromises on his end and reassured me, but I was refusing to listen to him. It was a hard thing to realize about myself.

When I realized what I was doing, I apologized to him. I also made a concerted effort to let go of my anger and stop making snipy comments about the situation.

Last night I had a conversation with a girlfriend and was explaining the situation, as it is part of my life as a newlywed, a transitional phase if you will. One of the things she said was, "I'm sorry, but the situation, although I understand it, is just weird. It will always be weird." And I was taken right back to where I was two weeks ago, I started feeling angry about it again. I talked it out with my husband, again, and was okay with it by the time I went to bed.

I read my devotion for the night, from the same book as above, and felt a calming assurance as the words flowed through my brain:

"Our Job is to Obey

Let all who take refuge in You be glad. Let them ever sing for joy. Psalm 5:11

As you walk the path of trust you will experience situations that simply defy explanation. When you look back, after the fact, you could never have figured out a better plan. At the time it seemed strange, mysterious, even illogical. Let me assure you, that's God working. Things will happen that seem to be totally contradictory, but these are God's arrangements. It was a wonderful day when I finally realized I don't have to explain or defend the will of God. My job is simply to obey it.

It is a waste of time trying to unscrew the inscrutable workings of God. You'll never be able to do it. That's simply the way God works. He honors faith and obedience. He will honor your faith if you will trust Him in a walk of obedience. And when you trust him completely, you will enjoy inner quietness and security. You will have a secure confidence that you are walking in His will. You will be surrounded by His peace."

So, I continue on my quest to trust. Seems to be a returning theme in my life. Trust my God. Trust my husband. Trust that we are living within God's will for our lives. That, indeed, this situation is "weird" or "odd", that it defies explanation. But, it is only temporary. It will pass. And, for now, I will remain obedient in my attitude, not just my actions.